A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be. " Mistress, I work for a government agency and implants protect agency proprietary information," Peter said. He tried to swallow but his throat was dry."Drink this," Nurse Shelley handed Peter a plastic glass with a straw in it. The glass contained water. Nurse Shelley helped Peter sit up enough to drink it. "All of it. Then I'm giving you some pills and some more water."After taking the pills, the tired indentured servant laid back on the pillow. A subjective moment later he was woken up."You have a visitor," Nurse Shelley said."Peter," Lester Boron hesitated, then rephrased, "Mr. Louis, you are in the Witness Protection Program as of two days ago under the orders of the Attorney General of the Republic of Capitallia. You were illegally indentured 19 months ago, Mr. Louis, and so were many other unfortunates. You thought that you had run up a gambling debt, but that was a false memory implanted in you so that you would volunteer for indenture. The Federal Marshal's Service needed.
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